Self Care During Challenging Times
“Compassion for others begins with kindness to ourselves.” —Pema Chodron
Whether you are teaching during a pandemic, parenting a child, taking care of an aging family member, or facing natural disasters in your area, caretakers are facing challenging times in 2020. Caring for others in itself is often an incredibly difficult job, but it is even more so with the impacts of natural disasters and the pandemic, which may limit access to additional support in and outside the home.
Our amazing bodies are wired for surviving challenging times by sending us into a stress response, which gives us nature’s greatest hormone cocktail that fuels us with the energy we need in order to face the challenges ahead. But what happens when we climb one mountain only to realize there’s another, and another, and it seems the tasks ahead are insurmountable? What happens when we have been in survival mode for far too long?
Abrupt changes from what is normally expected can trigger a stress response in our bodies. A stress response is exactly what it sounds like. It’s our body’s natural response to an abrupt change, stressful, or traumatic event. During a stress response, our brain and bodies are flooded with adrenalin and cortisol. These hormones are powerful agents of survival, but they are meant to be used temporarily. When these hormones are used over time, it affects our body negatively. They overuse and deplete our adrenal glands and effect the wiring in our brain, which limits our access to empathy, creativity, and critical thinking. It also lowers our immune system and can create both mental and health problems.
A stress response can look differently for each person and how they process information in their body. If you notice yourself feeling irritated, agitated, or quick to anger during a stressful event, this can be the result of a stress response. You may also feel overwhelmed, notice yourself being forgetful and disorganized, unmotivated, being depressed, having insomnia, racing thoughts, and a whole host of other symptoms.
Helping our body calm and regulate during a stress response, it critical for our overall health and maintaining the capacity to support those in our care. Self care and community care are evidence-based practices, which are essential tools for supporting caretakers facing stressful or traumatic events.
Remember that a stress response is normal, and you can get back to a regulated state, but it takes practice and self care. Here are some evidence-based ideas for self care when you notice that you may be in a stress response, are feeling overwhelmed, having anxiety, are unmotivated, agitated, or otherwise.
Taking Deep Breaths and Listening to a Meditation. Deep breaths and meditation reset our body’s nervous system. Harvard researchers found that meditation and deep breathing relax the amygdala, which is responsible for releasing stress hormones in the brain that cause a stress response. Daily meditation has been shown to help reduce anxiety, depression, and give more emotional stability to the practitioner. Guided meditations may be beneficial, especially if you are new to meditation. Jack Kornfield, Pema Chodron, and a whole host of other meditation teachers offer meditations on youtube or audible. Learning how to let go of our worries and racing thoughts support us in staying calm and giving us the emotional regulation to care for others.
Connect with a Supportive Friend or Family Member. Current research shows that most people calm themselves in regulation with others. Humans are social animals, and we have been wired to connect with others to survive. We biologically need each other to be healthy and happy. Finding at least one to two friends to connect with each day —that you can be real with and share what is going on for you—can be a huge support for your mental and emotional well- being.
Go for A Walk in Nature. In Japan, people practice shinrin-yoku or “forest bathing.” Scientist have found that being in nature allows you to inhale “beneficial bacteria, plant-derived essential oils and negatively-charged ions.” This beneficial bacteria interacts in our gastrointestinal tract, and as a result, strengthens the body’s immune system which improves emotional and physical health (Suzuki, 2016). Nature literally calms your brain. Being out in nature allows parts of your brain muscles to relax and re-cooperate. Cognitive psychologist David Strayer’s says that “being in nature allows the prefrontal cortex, the brain’s command centre, to dial down and rest, like an overused muscle” (Suzuki, 2016). In addition, multiple Harvard studies have shown that people who walk in nature daily experienced an increase in memory and a decrease in anxiety and depression (McGreevey, 2020). So go on a walk in nature, even if it’s for 20 minutes a day and you will be surprised by the results.
Drink a Cup of Tea. There are many culture that incorporate daily rituals around tea for a reason! It’s calming and it has many added side affects, such as slowing down, relaxing, and being mindful. There are also herbs that have been clinically proven to lower the stress hormone cortisol, like Ashwaganda. Ashwaganda, chamolmile, lemon balm, and skullcap are all considered adaptogen herbs which help people handle and manage stress. Finding a nerving tea at a health food store can be a wonderful way to reset, take a break, and be mindful.
Yoga and Stretching. The health benefits of yoga are well established. It is proven to decrease blood pressure and have positive affects on calming the amygdala and structural parts of the brain that regulate our emotions. Even if it’s just stretching for 5 to 10 minutes each morning, you can start your day off with a regulated nervous system. You can also do some stretching at the end of your day to get better asleep. Whatever your preferred schedule is, try it, and see how you feel.
Eat Nourishing Food. As the famous Hippocrates saying goes, “we are what we eat.” What we eat directly effects the way that we feel and how we regulate our emotions. Diets high in refined sugars lead to unstable blood sugar, which disrupts the body’s regulation of insulin. In addition, sugary foods can cause inflammation and stress in the body. Eating whole food such as fruits, vegetables, and grains, with limited intake of sugar and processed foods, supports the production of serotonin, which is neurotransmitter that regulates our emotions, moods, and sleep (Selhub, 2015).
Gratitude List. As I’ve mentioned before, gratitude literally rewires your brain in a positive way. Gratitude is a powerful way to combat the insurmountable difficulties coming our way, not by comparing ourselves to others and saying we don’t have it as bad, but rue gratitude, which is looking around and experiencing a deep appreciation for what has been given in our lives. Studies have shown that finding at least three things to be grateful every day lights up the networks in the brain that we use for socialization and pleasure. In addition, these parts of the brain control our emotions and are associated with stress relief. So being grateful is actually a way to relieve stress and find more joy (Fox, 2019).
Say “No” to Extra Obligations. Having boundaries is essential to being a healthy person. Having boundaries actually helps us be closer to others and foster connection. Knowing yourself and your limits are the first step to creating healthy boundaries. They may be hard to set at first, especially if people in your life have grown used to you going beyond your limits for them. However, having strong and healthy boundaries create less stress in our lives and less conflict. If you haven’t already, learn to say a firm “no” to the things in your life that you know are beyond your limit. If you don’t know what those things are, sit down and make a list of the things that aren’t serving you and try to find out where you can draw the line.
Play or Snuggle with a Pet. The emotional benefits of owning a pet are numerous. Besides being cute, people with pets have lower blood pressure in stressful situations. Playing, snuggling, cuddling, and petting a pet can increase serotonin and dopamine in the brain, which has a calming effect on our nervous systems (Lundgren; et. al, 2020).
Limit Social Media and Negative News. We know that the overuse of screen time can result in both anxiety and depression for its user. Social media is also inextricably linked with anxiety and effects a person’s mental and emotional health (Reed, 2020). It’s important to limit screen time and social media usage, as well as your exposure to constant negative news. While we want to stay up with the times and current information, when you can, get off the screen and find a healthy alternative, such as reading a book, calling a friend on the phone, or having a socially distanced meeting. Real life connection is the antidote to the overuse of social media. Humans crave connection, but while social media scratches that itch on the surface, it leaves a vacancy that can only be filled by true connection.
References:
Fox, Glenn (2019). Mindful: What Science Reveals About Gratitude’s Impact on the Brain. https://www.mindful.org/what-the-brain-reveals-about-gratitude/
Lundgren, Kai; Robinson, Lawrence; and Segal, Robert (2020) . The Health and Mood Benefits of Pets. https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/mood-boosting-power-of-dogs.htm#:~:text=Stroking%2C%20hugging%2C%20or%20otherwise%20touching,your%20mood%20and%20ease%20depression.
McGreevey, Sue (2020). The Harvard Gazette and Massachusetts General Hospital Public Affairs: Meditation’s Positive Residual Effects. https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2012/11/meditations-positive-residual-effects/
Reed, Phil (2020). Psychology Today: Anxiety and Social Media Use: Does Anxiety Drive Accessive Usage?https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/digital-world-real-world/202002/anxiety-and-social-media-use
Selhub MD, Eva (2015). Harvard Health Publishing: Nutritional Psychiatry: Your Brain and Food. https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/nutritional-psychiatry-your-brain-on-food-201511168626#:~:text=In%20addition%20to%20worsening%20your,It%20makes%20sense.
Suzuki, David (2016). Nature Calms the Brain and Heals the Body. https://davidsuzuki.org/story/nature-calms-the-brain-and-heals-the-body/#:~:text=Cognitive%20psychologist%20David%20Strayer's%20hypothesis,nature%20can%20soothe%20our%20brains.